Chapter 18
Harmony Roman The pearlescent puddle of soap in the middle of Harmony's palm looked flat in the sterile light of the hospital bathroom. The odor of it--antiseptic and grossly clean--brought back unpleasant memories of when Grandma had died, when she would make the long drive with Dad from Noah up to Utah Valley Regional Medical Center in Provo. They would do so every Sunday during the spring of Harmony's sophomore year in high school, traversing the distance in silence. Grandma Roman had gotten some sort of bronchial infection that had kept her in the hospital, scarcely registering the visitors. The doctors had been very particular about germs, and Harmony had become expert at washing up before going into see Grandma. They had the same soap here. Swallowing hard against the sweep of memories, Harmony flicked the hot water handle and soaped up, scrubbing diligently, if only because of habit. Finishing up, she exited the private bathroom and stared at the silent shape of Dane Amleth. Canula in the nose; IVs in the arms; hospital gown and -sheets; the smell of clean suffering…it was all too familiar. Harmony sighed and trudged back to Dane's side. She sat in the chair--a violation of her eighth amendment rights if ever she'd felt one--and, clean hands under her chin, she said, "Where was I before Mother Nature interrupted?" The machines hummed and breathed for Dane while the LCD tracked his vitals, blipping to itself contentedly. Dane did as he always did--nothing. "Oh, right. I was telling you about Dad. Well, it turns out that Tim Brahns, Jr. is trying to parcel out some of Elsinore Ranch. It's been kind of hush-hush--Dad thinks bribes were taken, since your father had been so opposed to the proposal. Northern Way Ranch has, in the past week or so--pretty much since the funeral--been courting Clawson, trying to get him to sign off on these acquisitions. It looks like there's a pretty large kickback that Clawson will enjoy if he divvies up the land." She snorted. "Kind of goes against your father's wishes, if I remember right. But what can he do?" Stretching her legs in front of her, Harmony crossed her feet at the ankles. "I gotta admit, Dane, I could have wished for a better Thanksgiving. Aside from spending time with you as often as I can, I'm helping out Dad as much as possible at the office. Gwen hasn't been right ever since the accident--she's been aloof, you know. Unresponsive. Mostly she sits at home and watches Netflix, barely eating enough. I'm worried, but I don't know what else I can do." Running her fingers through the shimmer of her black hair, she added, "I don't know what anyone could do. I've thought about putting her on suicide watch, but is it really my place? It seems like the sort of thing that Lenny should decide, but no one can get a hold of him--it's like Paris, Idaho has dropped off the map. You add to that the way that Ryan and George keep floating around here, almost like they're waiting for your condition to worsen--as if they don't have anything better to do--and you can easily see why I feel like everything is falling apart." Outside the ground floor window, Harmony could hear the passing traffic of SR-85, the occasional grumble of a semi or a pickup truck whose driver thought it was impressive that he could rev his engine. Despite the blinds, a steady stream of afternoon light filled Dane's hospital room. "It's nice that you're here," she said. "Clawson was insistent that you and Jenny remain close by. You were both lucky--those airbags saved your life. Your coma, well…" She trailed off for a moment. "That's bad luck, I guess. Still, you'd probably be better if they LifeFlighted you out to Provo or something, to get you better looked at. Clawson won't hear of it." She sighed. "I think I know why, too. He probably hopes that you'll die here." The words came out, tugging tears along with them. She willed them back, but that only made her head hurt more, the pain sharper. One slid down her cheek, splashing silently into her sweater. Another followed after. "Why'd all of this have to happen, Dane?" Sobs interrupted her speech, and it took a few minutes before she had the ability to speak again. "Why did you leave me behind? And I don't just mean this." She gestured at him. "Why couldn't we have stayed together. I feel…" Harmony sucked in a shuddering breath. "It's like when we first started hanging out together. Remember that? We were kind of the nerdy outcasts who were ignored by most everyone…except when they wanted to tease me. "There was that one day, where I wasn't sure that I wanted to keep going anymore--that it might be better if I just slid off this mortal coil and left it all behind. I was on the bridge on Creek Street, looking into the darkness beneath it, yearning for an ending. You came by, milkshake in hand that you'd just bought from Rall's Grill and Dairy Freeze at the end of the block. You asked me if I was okay. When I didn't answer, you said something about not liking coconut-and-caramel shakes and would I mind taking it from you? I knew you were lying--that's your favorite milkshake flavor, and it's disgusting, I have to tell you--but it wasn't the fact that you were offering me a milkshake that mattered; it's that you were offering anything at all. "I don't know if I really was going to jump--and, let's be honest, the creek isn't deep enough to really do anything besides make my clothes wet--but after that small gesture of kindness, that small demonstration of humanity…well, things just didn't hurt quite so badly. I could see myself staying by your side, helping you out, giving back to you, just as you had to me. "I don't think I was ever really in love with you, Dane Amleth, but I do love you. I can't really picture a life without you around. I mean…" She grabbed his hand. It was dry and warm--alive, but not living. The tightness around her soul constricted. Tears dripped down her face. "I just…I don't want to face this world of pain without someone that I can rely on. Someone who'll share a nasty-ass milkshake with me just to try to cheer me up. Someone who's interested in talking with me, in being with me, in remembering with me. I can't picture being in this world alone, Dane." She swallowed--a painful action, as there was a knot of tears tied in the middle of her throat. "Please don't leave me." Harmony set her head against the side of the bed and cried. The minutes leaked away like her tears, though eventually she sat up, feeling if not refreshed, at least unrumpled. It had been a stressful couple of days, and that constant building of strain had finally broken her. It was almost as if she were back on Creek Street, looking down at the brown water, the river grasses trembling in the current. It was too much, wasn't it? Too much worry, too much fear. No one could continue on this way; no one could live like this. At least, she couldn't. Her phone buzzed. Pulling the device from a too-small pocket, she looked at the message. It was from Dad. How are you doing? Where are you? She considered, then answered truthfully: I've been better. I'm with Dane. The response came a moment later. Any changes? No. When will you be done? When do you need me? She hoped the answer was that he didn't, but there wasn't a lot of faith in that desire: With Tim Brahns coming by in the next day or two, Dad was really pressed for time. Clawson wasn't particularly helpful at this juncture, either, as he was doing what Harmony did, save it was over Jenny's bed. He wasn't taking the accident well--the loss of his friend as well as the dual injuries had made him close in. While Harmony wasn't necessarily close to Clawson, she could tell just by the way he held himself that things weren't going well for him. Not that Harmony felt bad for the guy. She didn't know why Dane and his mother were on the road that night; she had no idea if he'd been successful in finding the evidence. But Clawson's behavior the night of the accident, when he'd dropped her off, made Harmony feel like there really was something wrong with him. She wasn't religious, but if she were, she would have pleaded with God to let Dane wake up so that he could explain what he'd found--if anything. That lack of knowing was the real stress, and it wasn't just about their investigation into Clawson. Would Gwen snap out of it? Would the buy-out from Northern Way Ranch go the way it was supposed to--and would Dad make money off the deal that would help reimburse him for all of the work he was putting into it now? More than anything, though, Harmony just wished that Dane would wake up. If she knew that he would pull through--even if it were months later--Harmony felt like she would be able to better deal with the stress. No, came back Dad's reply, which made Harmony sigh with relief. I'm just wanting to take a break. There's no rush. I can come in about ten, she texted back. K. She thumbed off the screen and stood. Wiping the drying tears off her cheeks, she looked down at Dane. "I'm sorry this happened." She bent down and gently kissed the top of his forehead. "I'll be back tomorr--" She couldn't get the last syllable out. Had she imagined it? This was too unlikely, too perfectly timed. Real life didn't happen like this. Harmony stared at Dane's hand for a solid minute, unmoving. Then, with a gasp, she saw a finger twitch. With a cry--of joy this time--Harmony ran from the room, calling out for the nurses. Dane was waking up. |